healing the family

I've been busy in my mind rearranging our list of acceptable foods - we're shifting our diets again, focusing on gut healing. Using a combination of SCD (the Specific Carbohydrate Diet), raw foods, fermented veggies, Body Ecology...

Essentially my beautiful son has had some teeth issues since he's had teeth - the issues being that his enamel is soft and crumbles easily. He has had the top four front teeth pulled - when he was about 18 months old - and I am not at all confident that it was the best decision I could have made for him*, although at the time I thought it was my only option.

* - Not at all coincidentally, Louise Hay says that teeth issues are about feeling like one is making the wrong decisions.

I've lately been doing lots and lots of reading about nutrition and teeth, including Weston A. Price's "Nutrition and Physical Degeneration" and Rami Nagel's "Cure Tooth Decay: Heal And Prevent Cavities With Nutrition".

Also recently a new friend moved into our cohousing, and her story was amazing: she had healed her son's autism with nutrition, a program called GAPS, which is essentially a more organic and more raw version of SCD. My friend, incidentally, has even written a book about this program, called "GAPS Guide", which she generously gave me as a gift upon learning of my interest in the program. Her son also had similar teeth issues, and many of the kids on this program have other similarities to Kiernen, as well.

So in addition to my raw eating, I am instituting that when I DO eat cooked foods, they will be aligned with this program - non-gluten grains if any at all, lots of good mineral-rich bone broths, fermented veggies, and lots of raw foods. Nothing at all processed anymore. No wheat or sugar except honey.

Honestly I'm as excited as I am anxious about beginning this program - I've seen it work for other people, I've even done SCD for awhile for gut healing, and it did make a difference. Eating raw has made an even bigger difference. So combining the two is just good sense for me. I'm wondering how on earth I'll get this picky kid to take cod liver oil or eat fermented veggies, but I've read lots of stories of parents who had kids just like mine who now beg for these things and no longer ask for the french fries or the breads.

For example, I was listening to an interview on the Raw Mom Summit with a woman named Gina LaVerde who had an experience with her own son that was very similar to my friend's. The Body Ecology Diet is very similar to SCD, the differences being so minute they are almost interchangable (body ecology is less to no fruit, for example, and it DOES allow Stevia, where SCD doesn't (although many on the SCD do use Stevia)). It was a great interview, very informative, and it felt to me like the Universe just giving me a nod with the path I've chosen for us.

I tend to go through a significant amount of preparation before "officially" undertaking any change in our lifestyle like this, and this time is no exception. In addition to reading as much as I can, including books and online forums, I am also little by little changing what we have in our pantry - using up certain things and not replacing them, buying more of other things we'll be using more, etc.

I've also been talking with Kiernen about his teeth and his belly and what changes we'll be making - I keep reminding him about not eating wheat or sugar, and what kind of things contain both of those. We talked about how I can make him these foods at home now, ones that don't have this stuff in them, and so far he has seemed satisfied with that. This is going to be as much a learning experience for me as anyone else - it is taking me a bit out of my comfort zone and into new territory.

We shall see where it all leads.

return from our trip

I just got back yesterday from 11 days away from home. 9 days visiting family in St. Louis and two days at either end outside of Seattle. I managed my green juice and smoothies and they were really my saving grace. I tried to have salads as much as possible but we ended up eating some stuff that my body is unaccustomed to, and now I am ready to do some happy detox. My skin is a bit broken out after being clear for a long time, and I feel generally inflamed.

Kiernen has a fever and has gone to bed fairly early. He did some throwing up tonight before passing out, I let him watch some videos while he drifted off. He has been moaning a bit in his sleep, I've been feeding him water and just being near and watching him. I'm glad of the fever because it means his body is doing its work and fighting this thing off - I think he's been feeling off since yesterday, because he's been fairly calm and mellow, more so than usual, and he has been saying that he was feeling sick, but then would just go and do his thing and shake it off. Generally when he comes down with something like this, its a 24 hour thing at best, so I think he will be fine by tomorrow.

Just doing general recovery from our trip - greens, greens, greens, juices, smoothies, salads...HAPPY.

We've been busy a lot lately outside of our house when we ARE here, so I've not been blogging much...when I do get online I just check email. Sorry if anyone is reading my sparse posting and being bored.

heat means fruit!

Oh, the sun! The sun has come out and it is HOT! We've been alternately playing outside and avoiding the sun when it is the hottest bit of the day by playing inside the air-conditioned common house, or even in our own house - which is hot, but not nearly as hot as it is outside in full sun. I feel like I'm in St. Louis again in August with this heat. It's kind of insane - it really never is supposed to get this hot here. We're having to water all of our plants and garden plots extra times because of the heat.

I'm told, however, that it will cool off coon. Here's to cooler sunny weather!

Good thing about the heat is it makes a person WANT to eat raw, because nothing else sounds appetizing BUT raw fruits and veggies. Especially raw fruits. I really do believe we're MEANT to be eating mostly raw fruits in the heat - because look at that grows when its hot! Melons, cherries, berries, stone fruits, cucumbers, snap peas, lettuces....In tropical climates fruit is abundant - so when its hot the body is meant to eat fruit.

Kiernen definitely knows this - all he wants to eat lately is fruit, and the occasional protein item. He's been eating pounds of grapes, plates full of watermelon, apples, and strawberries by the pound as well. He's also been drinking his green smoothies again with vigor, and asking for more. Yay! So my son is almost a little fruitarian right now.

I've been going for walks around 8:30 at night with my neighbours - we manage to go almost every night, with very few exceptions. It's the perfect time of day, too, because its cooled off and most of the kids have gone home to bed - so Kiernen is usually up for the stroller ride. We've also been doing the elliptical (Kiernen does it every day! lol) and jumping on the trampoline as much as possible.

I'm still working on trying to get enough calories in me so I CAN release weight - not so easy to do when it's so hot one never wants to eat anything with fat in it.

I learned last night that parsley can dry up breast milk - juicing it, as least. Possibly eating it at all, but the context I learned this in was in reference to juicing it. And guess what I've been adding to my juice for the past...I dunno, weeks now? Yeah. I had no idea! And guess what has been happening? Not very much milk being made by me. I thought it was just my body being done making milk. I've been telling Kiernen we're likely going to stop by his 4th birthday (in August). He responds by looking at my breasts with reverence and then snuggling into them. He then tells them, "I love you." Sigh.

Another beautiful hot sunny day! Off to play now.

easy on the ears and eyes

Pretty amazing stuff the Universe is bringing to me lately. Evidence:

who what where

How to even talk about the many things that have been happening lately? Perhaps a bulleted list to keep is simpler:

~ Our 10th wedding anniversary was May 30th

~ I got all of my tomatoes planted in their pots and cages put on

~ Our entire backyard has been weeded - buttercups begone!

~ Spinach, oriental greens and radishes are being harvested from our garden

~ lots of jumping on the trampoline

~ Kiernen's new BFF moved in May 31st!

~ day of movies after possible food poisoning

~ meeting with a neighbour about possibly developing some software

~ learning to spin poi!

~ exploring local playgrounds and parks

Somehow it doesn't sound like so much when I type it out here, but wow, is it ever keeping us all busy!

the many methods in parts

I found this incredibly intriguing book/website/plan of action online called The Gabriel Method. I've not yet read the book (I am awaiting its arrival), but I've been reading his forums and others where comments are made about it, and I've been listening to his audio hypnosis relaxation mp3 every night (almost) as I fall asleep. Either the other hypnosis stuff I've been listening to has primed me for this or his is particularly effective, because I have yet to hear the end of his 27-minute audio. I fall asleep like clockwork every single time, and close to the beginning, too - sometimes I'm lucky if I get five minutes in before I'm out cold. And this from a person who usually takes forever to fall asleep, because her mind is such a damn chatterbox.

Anyway, the thing about his method is visualization and adding in the nutrients that the body is starved for. So one listens to this audio at night before bed, and during the day is adding in all the key nutrients that the body needs. I'm not sure what beyond that, because again, I've not read the book (yet).

So, I'm doing the nutrient thing anyway, because of all of the live food I eat, and I'm now listening to the audio, and (I think) doing the visualization, provided that my subconscious mind is in agreement with my conscious mind about what the perfect body is for me. Like I said, I fall asleep before I hit that bit, almost without fail. His voice is SO relaxing.

And I've noticed a difference already - I'm feeling more positive about this releasing weight thing, AND I've stopped wanting food at night, which was my BIGGEST trigger time. I always got hungry at night. Always. And in the mere week or so that I've been listening to this audio, it has just not been so anymore. I'm amazed at that bit. That bit alone is just - WOW.

I've been making an effort to also just chew each bite of food I take and set the fork/spoon down between bites and really just experience the food - that mindful eating I'm on about in other entries. And I really do notice that I enjoy the food more fully AND I can really get a sense of how my body is reacting to it. Charles Eisenstein and Paul McKenna both say to do this. And they also say to eat what you want, as much as you want, and promise to ENJOY the food. So I have been. And I'm pretty sure I've actually been eating less as a result.

movement in parts

Oh my. Averaging one post every two weeks is not what I'd intended. But when the sun comes out around here, life gets BUSY! I mean, really really busy - there are always social things to do and gardening to do and and and...gah! NOT complaining, just saying. Who has time to read blogs anyway? You're all out in the su, too, is my guess! So good on you - go to the beach! Because wow, is it ever HOT around here now! (Okay, hot for the Pacific Northwest, which is totally different to hot for the midwest.)

Anyway. So that thing I was going to do, that program with my neighbour? Yeah, I'm not doing it. Not because I didn't want to, either, but because she told me NO. Yes, I'm serious. I talked about some of my issues that I've realized about my weight and she told me that if I took on doing her program it would be like treating a symptom. That I needed more than she could offer. She suggested bodywork to me, since I admitted I'd never done any (that I am aware of).

I thought I was fine with that until the next day, when I went into a deep depression about it. I felt like wow, I am THAT broken that she isn't even willing to take me on as a client. I am THAT broken. I also realized that it really hurt my feelings - there is a group of neighbours here doing her program, and I felt excluded - like here they all are doing this thing together and it is yet one more thing I am excluded from. Something I feel like I've had an issue with since I've been here - it is MY issue, not theirs - and here it is coming up again. Damn this personal growth! (I say this with a grin).

Funny thing about cohousing, something I've heard over and over again is it is the largest most extensive lifelong personal growth workshop you'll ever take...and it is so completely true! I have had to examine and reexamine my own issues a hundred times over since moving in here. Some I see clearly and am ready to move on, and some I look at and say, "No, I'm good - that one I'm fine with, the rest of the world can just deal with it," and pretend I never noticed it.

Anyway, I looked into this particular program she recommended to me, and I became even more depressed. See, I heard what she said like this: "This is the only way you can make a difference with this. You HAVE to do THIS particular thing in order to become whole again."

That is NOT what she said, and that is what I heard.

The venue she is suggesting holds several different programs, all of which last no less than five days and nights and require a person to stay on site, which means meals, lodging, and the price of the workshop. The least expensive workshop there is $500. SO many things to stop me in my tracks there! The time commitment of being away from Kiernen, the money, the having to take a ferry to an island and then stay there...

And then I gave it some more thought, and I realized that this was just ONE option. The option she knew well and was most comfortable with. And that there are other options closer to home and less expensive, that are also less of a time commitment. AND that these aren't the only options for me, either.

So I breathed again.

I am continuing to go for walks with two of my neighbours almost nightly - every night at 8:30 we walk for half hour or more as if we're late for an appointment. Two of us usually bring our strollers and walk with the kiddos - Kiernen has been enjoying taking the ride and having some snacks while he sits - an I guess our nattering on doesn't bother him so much, because he still wants to join me even when he has a chance to be home with MBD and his friends playing while I go.

I've also been loving going out and jumping like a kid on the trampoline with Kiernen and other kiddos around here. I LOVE that trampoline, and I still want to get a Reboundair in this place so that when it rains, I still get to bounce. Tai Chi has been sporadic at best - I haven't even managed to make it to Monday night classes for the past two weeks in a row. Sigh. I LOVE Tai Chi, so this is merely a matter of things becoming so busy in my life that I've not had time to get my two fellow practitioners together at 5PM like we used to to just do it.

Wow, this post has gotten long! I'm going to continue it in a new post. More to be said!

blueberry muffin smoothie

It might sound kind of odd, but this smoothie I made this morning tasted like blueberry muffins to me. Delicious!

To make approx 2 quarts:

2.5 cups water
1 cup blueberries
1 bunch chard
1 mango
3 frozen bananas
1 tsp cinnamon

Blend all in Vita-Mix and enjoy!

a new phase

So. Something to notice. I ate some chocolate for the first time since Easter last night - I ate a couple of handfuls of chocolate eggs - and today I was NOT a friendly person ALL day. I was irritable and depressed and melancholy all day. I was impatient and I fought with Kiernen, and I couldn't parent him well, or even be near him for some bits. Thanks Goddess my husband works from home and could come up for lunch and take over for awhile, then after Kiernen's nap could take him. Kiernen is my little mirror, and as I was irritable and grouchy all day, so was he - and he was hitting me constantly. I just couldn't take it, I had to get away.

We had a potluck meal in our common house tonight, a nice vegan burrito meal - but WOW, can I NO digest beans anymore. I was unable to even finish the burrito, and despite having taken digestive enzymes to help with the meal, my stomach HURT afterward. So now I know, no beans, ever. Not worth it, really. Plus it felt like a rock in my stomach and I was SO tired.

I did manage to have a good rest of the day eating-wise, though. Here was my food intake:

1 qt green juice (carrots, apple, green leaf lettuce, chard stalks, ginger, lemon)
2 bananas
1/3 honeydew melon
salad (green leaf lettuce, cucumber, yellow peppers, kalamata olives, 1/2 avocado, nutritional yeast, sprouts, radish and radish greens, spicy mustard dressing, kelp powder, saurkraut)
4 oz salmon, cooked
3/4 qt green smoothie (water, spinach, raspberries, bananas, mango, orange juice, honey, vanilla, bee pollen)
bowl of chocolate pudding (2 bananas, avocado, cocoa powder, honey, vanilla)
3/4 black bean and rice burrito w/ tomato sauce, salsa, guacamole, corn, green peppers, tomato, romaine - -OW
water

I did 2 sets of Tai Chi, too, so yay me!

I met with a woman who used to work for Jenny Craig - she is a neighbour of mine. She got fired from Jenny Craig because her clients consistently kept their weight off, and therefore didn't need the JC products anymore. Yes, she REALLY got fired for being TOO good at her job. She has decided to offer the services she gave there, plus the things she has learned along the way, to her neighbours if they want them. And a group of us DO want them, so we're all starting on this program - she calls it "Fostering Weight Loss" (her last name is Foster, so it's a sort of play on words. Clever, no?

It's an 8-week program that includes us being accountable to her, committing to exercising and meditation daily, and her helping us through all aspects of our lives from the ground up, to discover and repair where we self-sabotage. Because I know her, I know she will be great at helping with this, because she is a no BS person - she doesn't say what she thinks a person wants to hear, she tells the truth as she sees it. I'm excited to have this help, because I asked the Universe for it.

We do my kitchen audit on the 23rd. In the meanwhile, I am to do breathing exercises, exercise, meditate and write down my food intake AND what was happening at the time of eating. She doesn't play!

what are your rituals?

The other night I attended a spiritual discussion group in which we discussed rituals. We got to talking about just what constitutes ritual and how many things we do are actually rituals without us even realizing it.

I discovered that I have some rituals that I do often and had never ever thought of them as rituals per se. And they seem to have all of the ingredients: directing energy for a specific purpose, repetition, intent, reverence.

One very important ritual I have is around showering - yep, showering. It is my sacred time all for me, and I take full advantage of that. Before I shower, I dry brush my skin over my entire body while saying my affirmations. Sometimes I even do this while oil pulling, if it is in the morning. My current affirmations said while dry skin brushing are:

I love and appreciate myself. I am always safe and secure. I now easily relax into my ideal weight of 123 pounds. Food is my friend!

Sometimes I continue repeating my affirmations even while I shower, or I take it to the next level and do some EFT on myself. I'll use EFT to both tap IN the aaffirmations and tap OUT my negative thoughts that arise as I say them. For example, saying, "I now easily relax into my ideal weight of 123 pounds," can bring up some issues. I noticed when I was saying that last that in my head I heard, "But don't you remember the last time you were at that weight? So many traumatic things happened."

So I tapped on that thought, "Even though very traumatic things happened the last time I was slender, I deeply and completely love and accept myself." And of course any other thoughts that might come up, I tap on those, as well. I tap on them and then I make my statements more positive, like, "That was a very long time ago and I am completely safe and secure now," or "Those events had nothing to do with my body size and everything to do with my mental state at the time."

Doing these exercises while the water washes everything away totally elevates my vibration and puts me in such a wonderful space! I love this particular ritual.

I have another ritual that I am working to incorporate into my life regularly, and that is mindful eating. What it looks like is having the table clear when food is being eaten. Then when I sit down to eat, saying something like, "In this food I see reflected all of the abundance the world has to offer. Every bite I take sustains and nourishes my every cell. Food is my friend!" When I eat my food, I chew every bite thoroughly, making sure to put down any utensils I am using while I chew.

Now, this one is not one I have managed to make a habit just yet, but I will. I am working on it. I am considering making a lovely laminated placemat with hose affirmations on it to help serve as a reminder for me.

The next ritual I want to create - is this a ritual or a routine? There is intent, and specific energy direction, and reverence. Yes, so this would also be a ritual. I an fully considering getting up an house before my husband needs to start working and doing cardio and then yoga every day. Living in cohousing, we have the benefit of a multi-purpose room in which I can go outside my house to do these things. And outside is better, because then I don't have the distraction of my home and my delightful and engaging family. also, there is a chance I can enroll a friend or two into doing this with me, which makes for extra motivation.

Just thinking about the possibility excites me! First I am going to make it so I am going to bed earlier and earlier, then finally at the same time as my son, and then I can begin.

So what about you? What are your rituals?

tastes like thin mints!

Delicious: peppermint tea with a dash of honey and chocolate almond milk. Tastes like thin mints. Yummy!

a recipe and a question

I made the most delicious dessert Friday. It was amazingly delicious and so simple. I found it on Angela's Raw Reform blog, it's called Banana I Scream. Kiernen was so excited about it, he insisted on eating it right out of the food processor. It's definitely best if eaten the same day, too.

Since my smoothie feast I've been eating more cooked food, and I don't really know why, because I don't get much enjoyment out of it. I feel bloated and heavy and tired after I eat it, and it all seems too heavy and dry. So why am I eating it? It's not a rhetorical question, either, I really don't know the answer. Is it habit? Because I really would prefer to eat light, water-rich foods, live and fresh foods. And somehow even though most of what I eat is raw food, I'm still eating these things I don't really want. Like tonight I made popcorn for my husband and son and had a small bowl myself. It tasted like styrofoam or something, and way too dry. That's not how I remember popcorn tasting.

I know that eating raw has changed the way I perceive food, and the way it tastes to me, and I LIKE that. So why am I still eating food that doesn't feel or taste like food to me? Why can I not just let it go already?

cherry vanilla delicious

I created a new and delicious smoothie recipe yesterday, and it is too good not to share. I call it:

Cherry Vanilla Delicious

amounts depend on how much you are making - I make a Vitamix container full to feed my family of three, you can use my measurements very loosely and change them to suit your own size and tastes, of course!

2 cups water
juice of two oranges
1 whole bunch of greens (I used chard, but spinach, wild greens, whatever you like will work just as well)
3-4 frozen bananas
half a bag of frozen cherries, or about 1.5 cups
1 Tbs vanilla
(optional) 2 tsp honey

Blend and enjoy - my son LOVES this one, and will actually finish his smoothie and ask for more when I make this.